STEPHANIE MORK

A few days into the new year, I took 10 days off to travel to California and see a good friend and visit some family and do some general exploring.  First of all S/O to having jobs that let me take 10 days off and enable my wanderlust.  Second of all S/O to my friend, Sarah and my family members for hosting me and showing me around California.

My favorite way to travel is to have someone to visit.  I like traveling alone yes, but having people to meet you along the way makes the journey that much sweeter.

Highlights of California 2017:

– Santa Monica Pier and the Promenade – It was one of the best days ever.  Sunshiney, perfect Italian deli sandwiches, gawking at wedding dresses in anthropology just bc, and drinking beer by the water with mah girl.
– Hanging out at Venice beach eating brekky, running or watching the sunset
– In-n-out Burger.  Gourmet, yes.  Delicious, yes.
– The best sushi of my life with the most lovely of dates (Sarah, you win)
– Visiting with relatives that I don’t see often and hanging out with my cousins adorable baby.
– Meeting/spending time with relatives in San Fransisco – faves were seeing the sea lions and riding the trolley! Classic but so fun.
– Spending one day alone in San Fransisco – my highlight of that day was going to the Golden Gate Bridge and walking along the beach.  It was one of those surreal moments that I just wanted to sit in forever and capture the things I was feeling and seeing.  I think maybe I walked about 12 miles but then made up for it with tacos and beer and chocolate.
– Meeting strangers in San Fransisco that became friends.  The pros of hostels ppl.

I will always love to travel, but sometimes it’s tiring and plans are hard and can be stressful.  But the parts of a trip like watching the sun set over the ocean, laughing with an old friend until it hurts, or feeling the rush of the wind sailing past in a trolley rolling down the hills of San Fransisco all remind me of the beauty of travel and the sheer joy it can bring to a moment.

I learned a little about flexibility and being able to be present and content in the midst of disappointment.  I was reminded of how important family is.  How much it can mean to be “present” without physical presence and the wonders of technology allowing me to be a part of my nephews memorial service from miles away.  I was reminded of the importance of being intentional when it comes to fostering and maintaining relationships with old friends and distant relatives alike.  I was reminded of the goodness of people and how much a home cooked meal and a clean bed can be an act of love.

California wasn’t everything I expected it to be, but it was everything I needed.  I fell in love with those LA beaches and will be back someday to actually see Big Sur, drive highway 1 and hike that elusive Hollywood sign.

Each year, I think to myself I need to lower my travel expectations but then my mind keeps dreaming up ways to go places and stay there for longer periods of time than normal people.  I am crazy lucky to do all of the travel that I do.  Up next, Central America.

On my last night in California last week I was sitting at a Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. (classy right?), waiting for my fish tacos and watching the sun set over Alcatraz and the Golden Gate Bridge.  I looked up and saw this quote written above my table, “If you don’t know where you’re goin, it’s gonna be hard to get there.”   Probably something that Forest Gump said – as the place was filled with random quotes and Gumpisms.

How fitting for an in between things/traveler/half adult as myself?

If you repeat that quote a few times in your head it gets a little scarier each time.

Despite the scariness of the thought, its pretty obvious.  Of course! If you don’t know your end point, how will you make your way there? Applying it to traveling is one thing – but applying it to life is where the scariness sets in.

I have always been better at making smaller goals for myself.  Something that is tangible that I can DO or see or feel.  But it makes me wonder, what really is my endpoint? Does there need to be an endpoint? What if life is just meant to be about figuring what life is meant to be?

I have been learning that if you want something in life, the only thing that is stopping you is yourself.  What do you want? How badly do you want it? I am slowly but surely piecing together some of the things that I want for my future and small but tangible ways to get there.

With my first adventure of 2017 in the books – it’s time to start thinking about my next and bigger adventure of this year.  At the end of March, I will be heading to Nicaragua to do some volunteer work with an organization called Comamos Juntos or, we eat together. I will be there for about 7 weeks, living with a host family, working with the other volunteers and community members to collect and redistribute produce from the markets to the communities.  You can read more about the details of what I will be doing here.

I am mixed bag of emotions.  I am terrified.  I can’t speak Spanish, I have a weird digestive system, and I am a blond tall female going to a place where I will stick out like a sore thumb.  I am so excited though.  I get to learn Spanish, try new foods, be the foreigner and tell my story, love people, and learn more about another country as well as an international nonprofit.

Sometimes in my life I wonder, what the heck am I even doing? Maybe I’m a little crazy, maybe I have a little too much lust for adventure but I like to think I am a little brave.  I have found the things that feed my soul and make me feel alive and I can guarantee you – this will do just that.  A little discomfort and a little tension remind us of what it’s like to live with comfort and allows us to better appreciate the moments of contentment.

I have learned to truly soak in the moments of feeling free and alive.  The moments that send shivers down your spine or tingles in your fingers.  The moments that are so vivid in your memories because all your senses came alive and breathed in the scents and sounds and feelings of those moments.  I want more of those moments in my life.

I’ll leave you with this:

“I don’t do it to be a Good Samaritan  I do it to feed my soul. We’re on this planet to love and be loved.  The to love part means you’ve got to help.  This is why I was put on this earth.”  – David Foster

So where am I going?  For now, Nicaragua.

For my family, 2017 hasn’t started out in a way that anyone could have imagined or could ever understand.  In the early hours of January 1st my baby nephew of 23 weeks old passed away.  Something too tragic to even comprehend is a life lost that never really began.  A life that would have/could have been full of love and laughter and mistakes and triumphs and learning.

A sorrow that we will never understand the why or how but something that will mark this year with a big black X – but nonetheless that black X  is covered with a big ole bright white light that comes from the sweetness of the hours my nephew was loved and cherished, the people that have supported this family and the fact that little Afton is hanging out with Jesus right now.  The double edged sword of being a human has reared its head this 2017 early on with the sweetness of life and the tragedies of life and the in betweens that we sometimes take for granted.

All lives lost deserve mourning and grieving and we will grieve for Afton’s life, but to most of our dismay time doesn’t stand still.  How do you even look past something like this to the future, when what you imagine the future will be like changes so drastically?

What I can say is this: hold on to your loved ones, cherish the sweet moments, celebrate the triumphs but also sit in the tension, embrace your tears, feel your feelings and do it with people by your side because nobody can do this alone.

Every New Year it seems there is something bad about the old year.  But friends, what was good about that year?  Turn the tables on yourself and look at life from the flip side of the coin.

No year is perfect, and 2017 is no exception but there is still a lot of love and kindness and laughter swirling up and about and around – and I can feel that it is going to cover the rest of this year like an overly frosted chocolate cupcake with rainbow sprinkles on top.