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Inspiration

September 2, 2017 1 Comment

These days I have been struggling to find inspiration to write about anything on my blog. I can’t quite explain why – maybe its a combination of feeling stuck, being sick and having other priorities. It’s been about a year since my grandma passed away, and it was her birthday last month. As I was digging through my old documents getting ready for my first week of grad school, I found a piece that I wrote for my grandmothers funeral last year. It felt fitting to share this as a tribute to her in this time of busy-ness and stress because I am reminded of her advice to take care of myself and to remember what is important and it makes me miss her so much. I will forever be proud to carry some of her blood with me and I can only hope that I become half the woman she was.

–

Grandma Mork

Some of my most fond memories as a kid are with my grandma and grandpa Mork. The four hour drive from Cambridge to Worthington seemed to take forever at ten years old, especially when you knew who was waiting to greet you on the other end – usually with some sort of homemade baked good and a warm and sweet smelling hug.

Grandma was always one looking out for us. One Christmas, I remember it was very cold and we were playing outside. When I came in my cheeks had that reddish white splotchy pre frostbite look to them and grandma was beside herself to get me some hot cocoa and tell me to be careful in the cold. Maybe I was kind of being scolded for not paying attention, but I remember that moment because I think I understood that she would always be watching out for me.

Other favorite memories with grandma and grandpa Mork include: my cousin, Kathleen and I’s trip to La Jolla with them. At that point in our lives we were set on being dolphin trainers together so it was the dream trip for us. We came home happy and with dreams of starring in our own dolphin show. I got on the plane with a stuffed manatee (don’t ask), and Kath with a stuffed dolphin.

Exploring Ireland with grandma and grandpa with John and Carolyn – I knew it was a special trip, but I will treasure those times of being able to show them my stomping grounds and seeing some family history. Watching grandma Mork listen to the organ play in the big Cathedral in Cork will be seared into my mind forever. She was on cloud nine.

Having them in the next town over during college was such a comfort. They always wanted to have my friends over for dinner or take me out to lunch. I also had the privilege of living with grandma and grandpa at their Blackheath house for about a month during college. The pace at their house was just right for me and it was a special time of talking about life, sharing meals together and just being.

Trips to Arizona were such a highlight of the year. To get out of the car and smell the orange blossoms and fresh cut grass and be welcomed with homemade applesauce, hugs and a listening ear was such a breath of fresh air. Bringing my friend Taylor to visit was one of the best times with them and I will never forget the hospitality and grace that grandma and grandpa exuded to a perfect stranger. Grandma is ever the warmest and most humble host.

Grandma Mork cared and she showed it with a quiet, but strong and humble spirit. Always asking about me, making sure others needs were met before hers. She was always the first one to send letters and cards to camp (sorry mom), even in the last month, and always consistent in replying to emails.
As an adult, I can only be grateful for all the time spent with her. The things she has embodied with her life and taught to each person that encountered her are too many to name. Forever humble, kind, easy to listen, full of grace and strength – I will miss her.

Love you Grandma.

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Coming up for air

May 29, 2017 No Comments

Why is it that upon my return to the states, I feel as though I haven’t stopped moving? I hit the ground running – getting back to work, seeing all the people I need to see, celebrating friendships, relationships, family and birthdays. All good things, but I’m tired and I will relish this week of relative slowness.

I am finally getting to a place where I can debrief with myself what it’s been like to come back to the states (three weeks later). Granted, I wasn’t gone very long, but I considered Managua my home for those weeks and culture shock is still a thing when you are deep in the heart of Central America.

My first reactions to being back were: everything is so clean, white, bright and easy. As a society, we are excessive and extravagant and don’t realize the relative wealth we have. The streets are clean, I am not getting whistled at, I can find a seat on the bus with ease, and I can put my toilet paper in the toilet instead of the trash can. I find myself marveling at the simple luxuries of not sweating, of having a couch, of easily accessible food, and of having a refrigerator that is way bigger than my needs. Minneapolis, you sweet, sweet city.

I think my biggest questions now are: how can I find a balance of being an active member of society in my city without being extravagant? What do I actually need, and what do I actually want? How can I spend my money and time in a way that reflects what I care about and what I believe in?

These are questions that are still unanswered, but are important for me to think about in these next months. I am challenging myself to have less and do less this summer, which in this society is very countercultural. Working on slowing down (hence coming up for air), spending time doing things that energize me and spending my money on things that I actually need or on things and people that are important to me.

How can you choose to live with a little less this summer? Instead of coming up for air, just give yourself the space to breath.

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How do you be in Paradise?

May 4, 2017 No Comments

Dictionary.com defines paradise as: (n) a place of extreme beauty, delight, or happiness.

What does this mean? How do you define your paradise when you really think about it?

I think the problem for many people is this: We get to paradise, we are awestruck, we enjoy it for a bit, but then it’s like well, now what? How can we as humans BE in paradise and continue to truly be there – not continuously looking for the next thing. If we are in paradise, why aren’t we enjoying it?

I think that paradise can be found on a rainy day at home with a hot cup of tea or on a day spent by the beach with a juicy mango in hand. How can we bring this paradise attitude and mindset to every day of our lives? How do you define your paradise?

It has been so interesting for me to observe my mind throughout this experience in Nicaragua. To find paradise in the midst of discomfort and also in the midst of actual paradise. I have learned a lot about exercising my mind to be present, to be in the moment and to let go of expectations. I have learned that it is a decision to be content and it is not always an easy one.

Sure, I have dreams and I worry and I have ideas about what I would like to do in the next chapter of my life – but I am also learning how to keep those things fluid and to be ok with whatever is tossed my direction.

This post about paradise is inspired by the few days I spent on Little Corn Island. A place with no cars, no electricity for half the day, and beaches that have been mostly untouched by man. To be there was an amazing end to Nicaragua. Beaches, warm water, snorkeling, amazing food, views beyond words, people that I will never forget and moments of pure bliss that will stay with me forever. A place that was easy to be. To be content, to flow with the rhythm, and to really be in the paradise.

So here I am, with less than a week left in Nicaragua and feeling the feels of the end of an experience – all the bittersweetness of it. As I sit here in an air conditioned coffee shop listening to John Mayer I am reminded of the true luxury of my home – where air conditioned coffee shops are the norm, not where only the people with money go.

I am reminded of the privilege I have to be able to come all the way to Nicaragua and to have these experiences. The opportunity I have had to take two months to travel, volunteer and experience a new culture is not lost on me, and I will look back on this period with fondness.

I am one of the lucky ones, but aren’t we all really? We are the lucky ones just to be alive.

Blog, Travel

The highs of Nicaragua

April 20, 2017 1 Comment

I have kept busy here with volunteering and doing some social media for Comamos Juntos (follow us on FB, twitter and insta plz) – but I have also been doing my fair share of exploring.

Only a few days after arriving in this country, I made my way to the north of Nicaragua for a trip to a National Forest Reserve called Bosawas. Thank goodness I was with a group of people! I was suffering from culture shock, heat shock, language confusion and basically just confusion in general. It was an amazing trip and my highlights from it were:
1) Staying at a remote cabin type place near a rainforest – the people were kind, the food was so so traditional and tasty and the views were stunning.
2) Hiking into the cloud forest. It was a bit challenging but every bit worth the climb. We swam in a waterfall, saw jaguar poop and were led the way by a 70 year old man with a machete. You can’t make this stuff up.
3) Riding the chicken buses. Not saying they were comfortable but wow what an introduction into Nica culture! Mostly what was new to me was people randomly jumping on the bus to sell their goods and the fact that a lot of people utilized them to buy snacks and drinks – myself included.

Laguna de Apoyo is a crater lake that was formed by a volcano and is now a popular spot for spending the weekend – kayaking, diving, swimming and general relaxing.
Highlights were:
1) Hitchhiking (sorry mom) – we were safe the whole time but we had to hitchhike to actually get to the lake. The bus doesn’t drive far enough!
2) The fresh air and water – Managua is dirty and the wind is pretty hot so feeling some relief from the hotness with a view was a double win.
3) Going diving! It is quite an experience to breathe underwater – there wasn’t much to see because its a lake but it was still a nice experience and I hope to do it again somewhere else before I leave Nicaragua.

Granada is a nearby city that is full of life and colors and fresh wind and backpackers. I met so many people from around the world and its truly amazing what kind of community you can build in just one weekend. Honestly my main highlights were meeting people, eating french fries, and drinking toñas in a treehouse in the middle of nowhere with monkeys hanging out in the trees above and stars so clear. I was a bad tourist, but sometimes planning activities is not what I want to spend my time doing. It was very unlike me to go somewhere alone without a plan, but I am glad I did!

Lastly, I went to Volcan Masaya – One of my friends here has a car and offered to drive me up the volcano at night to see the lava. It was truly an amazing experience to feel the breeze, see the lava and the stars and smell the sulfur.

Nicaragua has so much to offer and I am afraid I won’t have time to see it all – thoughts of a Central America backpacking trip may be on my mind.

I also spent Easter weekend on Isla de Ometepe and it 1000% deserves its own post.

Enjoying the total body sweat today at 92 degrees! Sending sun, mangos and good vibes to you all.

Blog, Travel

En la Barrio

April 11, 2017 No Comments

The neighborhood life in Nicaragua is like nothing I have ever experienced. It seems that each residence on the street has some sort of small business, or is a farmacia, or a venta (a cornerstone) and there is actually a gym right across the street. Our next door neighbors cook up traditional Nicaraguan food to sell each night for dinner, the neighbors across the street sell some produce or packaged goods, a few houses down there is a woman who makes the best corn tortillas EVER. <– slowly but surely becoming my BFF. My host family sells both frescos and a fast food-ish thing called repolechas. Its a fried dough with refried beans, cabbage, cheese, and ketchup and chili sauce on top.

You need not walk more than 10 steps for any of these things, and there are people that walk down the street and sell produce or other goods in carts as well. There are places that sell nacatamales – which is similar to a tamale but they are literally so big – places for sweet breads or desserts made from fruits, places for candy and snacks – for laundry soap and toothpaste. Ten steps people. Okay maybe 20.

Managua isn’t so much a tourist destination. When I tell people I am staying here for a few months they are surprised and ask why and what I think about it. In all honesty, Managua is big and chaotic, a bit sketchy at times, hot hot hot and there are only few things for tourists. BUT I am not a tourist. I am a student.

I am learning the ways of the city buses. I take them everyday to get where I am going – which is something I did not anticipate. The city buses are sometimes pretty chill, but sometimes they are a sweaty mass of people squeezing past each other, falling over onto each other and either trying to get off the bus or trying to find a bearable place to stand for the duration of the ride. For this gringa, it can be pretty stressful at times – otherwise it’s just so ridiculous how many people are squeezed into one space that I have to laugh. I am pretty much the only white person on each bus I get onto which is a bit unnerving, but most people are kind and if I give a smile, I will usually get a smile in return.

I have learned how to wash my clothes by hand. I will literally never take a washing machine for granted again! I sweated and scrubbed and scrubbed and sweated the other day doing my clothes and I am pretty sure I’m not totally doing it right either. My host mom kind of had a little grin on her face watching me.

I have learned how to navigate (more or less) the Mercado Mayoreo and find the various places I need to go in Managua. Each new place that I make it to alone is a small little victory and I cheer silently at myself from the sidelines. It’s truly all about the small victories people.

I am enjoying life in the Barrio. In the evening, it is not uncommon to find some family members sitting outside the house just watching the world go by. Watching as the sun goes down and the neighbors fire up their grill and feeling the coolness of the evening blow in. Someone usually hands me a fresco and life feels pretty good with a cold sweet fruit drink in my hand and the heat from the sun fading away, while the world slowly moves on by in front of me.

Maybe Managua is a bit dreamy and poetic under all the noise 🙂

Time is moving more quickly than I anticipated here and my last weeks are filling up with trips to other parts of the country. Next post on highlights of Nicaragua so far!

Blog, Travel

Todas las piñas

April 5, 2017 No Comments

I think pineapples are the most beautiful fruits. Inside and out. Even though they are spiky and maybe formidable on the outside, once you get inside they are juicy and sweet and especially good in combination with their friends – the mango and the banana. They are photogenic and colorful and also nourish and hydrate the body with all the vitamins. I have fallen for the pineapple – hard and fast.

I spend and will spend a decent amount of time in one of the bigger markets in Managua – Mercado Mayoreo. I think my obsession with fruits in Nicaragua began in the market. There are many things happening in the market – vendors selling their produce, motor taxi’s whizzing by, unfamiliar and unpleasant smells, busses honking, smells of fried street foods, and always keeping constant awareness of your surroundings and where you place your feet – but the fruits… the fruits have stuck out to me as a thing of beauty.

They are for me, a thing of peace in an otherwise chaotic place. When I think about fruits, I think of tropical places, beaches and nice breezes. It’s almost as if when I see piles on piles of fruit my imagination takes me to a calm place for just a split second. And for me, that’s just what I need to focus on the tasks ahead – just a moment of peace.

I will be spending two days a week in the market collecting food with other volunteers from Comamos Juntos. Our tasks include just that – going around to vendors that have an established relationship with Comamos Juntos and collecting the produce they have set aside that they will not sell. Many times, we must sort through the crates they give to make sure we are only collecting produce that is not rotten or diseased. Since it is so hot, produce can go bad much faster, so it is important to go through the whole bin so the communities are getting the freshest produce possible.

Once the food is sorted, it is weighed and recorded. At the end of the collection the food is divided into three groups for each community and loaded onto a truck for distribution. The three communities that receive the produce from CJ are Ananda Marga (a primary school), Villa Guadalupe (a community built on the edge of a dump), and a community of ex sugarcane workers that are suffering from kidney disease.

After the work is done, the volunteers share a fresco together – the sweetest old lady sells them right next to our home base in the market.

The market is a fascinating place for me. It is so so different than how everyone I know makes a living. People are incredibly creative and resourceful with what they sell. I’ve seen things from kitchen utensils, to fried plantains, to socks, to bags of water. People sometimes carry their goods around with them and call out – “Agua, agua!” This also happens on the buses, in the streets and at most bus stops. On longer bus rides, people hop on the bus with their homemade goods – things like corn bread, fried chicken, sweet tamales, cut pieces of fruit – you name it. Going back to my word – fresh – many times these homemade food items are so hot they must have just come from the kitchen.

I am staying hydrated with all the fruit smoothies and seeking refuge from the heat in the mountains or in an air conditioned cafe of bliss – things are becoming a new normal here. I am continually thankful for my host family and the Comamos Juntos family who have welcomed me so easily into their lives. Next post on life in the ‘hood – Barrio Paraisito – where I am living.

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Blog, Travel

First Impressions

March 29, 2017 2 Comments

Managua is ~~just a little~~ VERY different than Minneapolis. I have been here for one week today and its been a whirlwind. Today I found a little taste of comfort in an air-conditioned mall with some blessed coffee, wifi and yummy baked goods. But the past week has been a tornado of activities, new things, acclimating to new places, languages, and mindsets.

The culture shock is pretty real, but I am starting to feel more comfortable going out and about on my own, asking questions and speaking in Spanish.

Here are 6 words to describe my first impressions:

1. Hot
2. Noises
3. Kind
4. Fresh
5. Water
6. Open

My first morning in Nicaragua, I was woken up around 4 am to a cock-a-doodle-dooooo (!) and I could hear the city begin to wake up with the sounds of motorcycles, dogs barking, buses revving, horses clapping on the cobblestone, people talking, babies crying, music, and the smell of cooking meat. I somehow slept for a few more hours until I had to use the loo only to find that the water was turned off and I had my first lesson on how to flush the toilet with a bucket of water.

I spent my first 24 hours sweating through my clothes, being spoken to in a language I don’t really know, and wondering what the heck I am doing here. It was a lot to take in and the learning curve for this gringa is very steep. Its crazy how quickly things like seeing lizards and cockroaches, constant intake of water, never going anywhere without hand sani, and using a bucket to flush the toilet have become the norm.

To go into further detail of my 6 words – hot is pretty self explanatory. Its literally always hot. I guess I came during the summer (whoops), and its pretty normal for the high to be around 95 and lows in the mid 70’s at night – which is actually pretty comfortable for sleeping. I have literally never in my life drank so much water or juices or smoothies just to prevent being dehydrated without really doing anything!

My first description of Nica describes pretty well what I mean by noises. There is just a lot going on and it’s crazy how early the Nicaraguan people get up and out and start moving in the day – probably because the best hours of the day are about 7 am to 11 am. 1 – 4 pm are the death hours.

Kind is to describe all of the people that I have interacted with thus far. My host family is so patient with my bad Spanish, and willing to help me learn. They share their food, answer my stupid questions and have shown me the ways of the bus (more on that later). They are easy to be around and I am so thankful for them. I have also spent some time with the staff of Comamos Juntos and other volunteers and they again are all so patient with helping me learn Spanish, showing me the ways of the Nicas, and inviting me to go on trips or hang out with them.

Fresh is for the fruits and many of the foods I have tried here. But mostly the fruits, fruit smoothies and frescas. My host mom literally makes the best frescas in Managua (even though I haven’t tried many others I can tell you they are the best). They are these juices made from exotic fruits that I have never heard of – the fruits are cooked, strained and mashed and blended up and then put in the fridge. The family actually runs a little business selling these and I plan to learn how to make them.

There is a thing about water in Managua where sometimes they shut it off – but the good news for me is that the tap water is safe to drink. Mostly water is constantly on my mind, whether its that I need to drink some, or use some to flush my poo, or dump on my head so I don’t have a heat stroke lol.

Open is for a) my mindset and b) how the spaces in Nicaragua are laid out. My room doesn’t actually have windows, more like grates with a curtain to cover it in the night. But it seems that doors and windows are always open, many restaurants are open aired, the people are open, the windows on the bus are open – its just a very open place!

My mindset going into this was one of openness and its been a challenging first week – many new experiences, frustrations and acclimations – BUT I am feeling excited to continue learning and growing and keeping my mind open. And I have really enjoyed the volunteer work and just watching life happen here.

I have done some volunteering already, received a few social media projects for Comamos Juntos and went to a forest reserve in the mountains last weekend, so it’s been busy! I have a feeling it will continue to be busy, but I don’t have much time and I hope to fill it with more explorations and experiences.

This is very long so stay tuned for my next posts about life in the market and my trip to the cloud forest! With photos! Adios for now 🙂

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Are you ready?

March 20, 2017 No Comments

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I can’t tell you how many times I have gotten this question in the past week – and how many times I have answered with “Um, I don’t really know.. hopefully!”

I mean I have things in my pack, I have started taking my malaria pills, I quit one of my jobs, said goodbye to my loved ones… does that make me ready? How do you really know when you’re ready for something?

Right now life is really good. I am just starting to adjust (and love) having a new roommate in the house, having just one job, and spending time with people that make me feel more alive and a bit freer and a bit less stressed. I am part of a team of employees that are also friends that care about each other, I am part of a family that is supportive and big hearted, and I have people in my life that are excited for me and that I have the honor of missing while I am away.

There is one part of me that is a little sad to leave my lovely little life right now – mostly because I have the anticipation and the fear of not knowing what my experience is going to be like. But the other part of me is so thirsty for this experience.

Something happened to me during my three months in Italy that gave me a zest for new experiences and a confidence to do things alone. I became more comfortable making a fool of myself speaking a language I don’t know. I became good at getting lost and asking questions. I became good at seeing the positive in a challenging situation.

With my various previous travel experiences under my belt, this experience only seems natural. In all reality, six weeks is not that long. You could do anything for six weeks. Things at home, more or less, will stay the same in 6 weeks time.

Whatever this experience may hold for me I welcome the challenges, I am feeling the fear and sitting in my nerves, but I am also ready to embrace a new culture, and dive into relationships and experiences that will give me perspective and change me for the better. I am going there to volunteer, but honestly I see it as a learning experience. I am going as a student, not a rescuer or hero.

A year ago, while I was working at HoneyRock, visiting Comamos Juntos crept its way into my dreams and landed on my bucket list. A week from today, I will have already been to the cloud forest and swam in waterfalls and started doing some volunteer work. Hard to believe that after months and weeks of planning and dreaming, it’s actually here. Funny how a date can sneak up on you like that.

I will be arriving in Managua in t-minus 48 hours. Stay tuned for first experiences and first impressions of Nicaragua in the next week or so!

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Transitions

March 1, 2017 No Comments

This week I had my last day at my first in-the-city-big-girl-job-that-isn’t-camp job. Which means I leave for Nicaragua three weeks from today and I am freaking out a little bit.

Since my life seems to be continuously going through transitions, I have been thinking about what prompts us to change. What are the reasons for moving on, or moving up or moving out?
… unhappiness?
… the search for satisfaction?
… thirst for adventure?
… boredom?
… drive to be better?

It would be easy to overlook all of the underlying reasons for change, and just say its time for a change – but I can say with some confidence that any individual in question is usually searching for something. A search for passion, for yourself, for adventure, for love. The term “finding yourself” isn’t far from the truth.

So why can’t we find ourselves in the normal day to day of living? Why does there need to be change or transition to ‘find ourselves’?

In my very humble opinion, the whole of life is about finding ourselves, challenging ourselves and growing into ourselves. Who says you can’t find new passions at 80? From previous experience going abroad and living in community and experiencing many cultures and living situations – as well as living and working and doing normal daily and weekly routines that have become my life – each one has shaped me into who I am and how I view the world.

My life would be very wonderful and full without these experiences, but I truly believe each one of my experiences have helped me to fully be who I am. They have helped me to learn to listen to my gut and to be my own fish instead of swimming mindlessly along with what society tells me I should do.

Change helps us to have perspective on life. Whether it’s a permanent change like moving across the country, getting married, or (like me) just a quick 2 month jaunt to a foreign country – it’s bound to have some impact on how we interact with the world. Perspective allows us to see things from both sides of the fence. Sitting on the top – one side is green and blooming, the other side is brown and gross. Even though the top of the fence isn’t great, you can see that things could be better – but they could also be worse.

I can’t say for sure what all my reasons for jetting off to Nicaragua are, but I do know that I am searching for new perspective. I am searching for a new experience that will grow me and teach me. I have fallen in love with experiencing things both fun and uncomfortable and learning lessons that are challenging but freeing.

Three weeks baby. Three weeks.

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California and flexibility

January 21, 2017 No Comments

A few days into the new year, I took 10 days off to travel to California and see a good friend and visit some family and do some general exploring. First of all S/O to having jobs that let me take 10 days off and enable my wanderlust. Second of all S/O to my friend, Sarah and my family members for hosting me and showing me around California.

My favorite way to travel is to have someone to visit. I like traveling alone yes, but having people to meet you along the way makes the journey that much sweeter.

Highlights of California 2017:

– Santa Monica Pier and the Promenade – It was one of the best days ever. Sunshiney, perfect Italian deli sandwiches, gawking at wedding dresses in anthropology just bc, and drinking beer by the water with mah girl.
– Hanging out at Venice beach eating brekky, running or watching the sunset
– In-n-out Burger. Gourmet, yes. Delicious, yes.
– The best sushi of my life with the most lovely of dates (Sarah, you win)
– Visiting with relatives that I don’t see often and hanging out with my cousins adorable baby.
– Meeting/spending time with relatives in San Fransisco – faves were seeing the sea lions and riding the trolley! Classic but so fun.
– Spending one day alone in San Fransisco – my highlight of that day was going to the Golden Gate Bridge and walking along the beach. It was one of those surreal moments that I just wanted to sit in forever and capture the things I was feeling and seeing. I think maybe I walked about 12 miles but then made up for it with tacos and beer and chocolate.
– Meeting strangers in San Fransisco that became friends. The pros of hostels ppl.

I will always love to travel, but sometimes it’s tiring and plans are hard and can be stressful. But the parts of a trip like watching the sun set over the ocean, laughing with an old friend until it hurts, or feeling the rush of the wind sailing past in a trolley rolling down the hills of San Fransisco all remind me of the beauty of travel and the sheer joy it can bring to a moment.

I learned a little about flexibility and being able to be present and content in the midst of disappointment. I was reminded of how important family is. How much it can mean to be “present” without physical presence and the wonders of technology allowing me to be a part of my nephews memorial service from miles away. I was reminded of the importance of being intentional when it comes to fostering and maintaining relationships with old friends and distant relatives alike. I was reminded of the goodness of people and how much a home cooked meal and a clean bed can be an act of love.

California wasn’t everything I expected it to be, but it was everything I needed. I fell in love with those LA beaches and will be back someday to actually see Big Sur, drive highway 1 and hike that elusive Hollywood sign.

Each year, I think to myself I need to lower my travel expectations but then my mind keeps dreaming up ways to go places and stay there for longer periods of time than normal people. I am crazy lucky to do all of the travel that I do. Up next, Central America.

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