STEPHANIE MORK

Today, I met a man named Cody.

He was sitting down in a very sunny spot and looked like he might be thirsty.  It was a busy corner but most people passed him by, not even acknowledging that there was a person there.

Cody is probably about my age.  He is a very talented artist and likes to draw cartoon characters and design tattoos.  Self taught artist might I add and very polite.

Why am I telling you about Cody?

I shared only a few minutes of my time with him, but I was impacted by him probably more than I impacted him.  Unfortunate circumstances have led his path on a train going the opposite direction of mine.  I desperately wanted to take him with me on my train – change the direction of his path.  Could it be as easy as giving him a new ticket?

This week as I spend some time thinking and learning about urban poverty in Chicago, I can only be thankful for the journey life has taken me on so far.  How did I get here? How did he get there? What if life circumstances put me on his train too?

Homelessness is a struggle for me.  I don’t want to give away a few dollars and feel like I did my good deed for the day.  No, it has to be more than that.  Learning that service is not about me is a funny and paradoxical lesson, but an important one.  Sure it can feel good to give a sandwich to a hungry person or a water to a thirsty one, but the person that matters here is the recipient not the giver.

Service in my eyes should be an interaction between two humans, where you are face to face, sharing time, food, or experiences that acknowledge the humanness of both people.  Humans all have the same essential desire to know and be known.

It’s impossible to reach all of the people in a city by passing out sandwiches and water bottles, but maybe if one person has an attitude shift, then it will spread like a wildfire.  Will you walk past the man on the corner? Or make eye contact with him and acknowledge him as another person – human to human.

Will you be the one to light the fire or put it out?

The words that Facebook asks me when I go to click the log out button.

Are you sure you want to log out?

Yes, Facebook.  You haven’t been good to me lately.  You’ve taken up my time, distracted me from the moment, and those little red notification circles are driving me nuts! I think it’s time for a break.

The other day my phone froze up while I was walking home from work. I think it was the heat.  Poor thing couldn’t take it anymore.

At first my heart started racing, my thoughts going twice as fast:

What will I do if my phone breaks? 

I don’t know where the closest apple store is and I can’t find it without my phone. 

How will I tell my parents that my phone is broken?

What if I need help and I can’t tell anyone?

What, oh what, will I ever do with out my precious iPhone???

And then I got a grip on reality.  If my phone really was broken, then I would walk to the nearest apple store in the morning.  Email my parents to tell them I am alive and move on with my day.

It’s scary how much we rely on technology. As I am writing this on my macbook pro… setting my alarm for the morning and looking up directions for the next day.

If I have a question, google will answer it!

It’s also scary how much of our time is taken up by scrolling through instagram, watching tv, or looking at all those random Facebook posts that we look at to not think about anything or so we have something to gossip about with our friends.

I do it.

As I am headed to Wisconsin this week for an extended vaca/work trip I am ready for a little break from the technology world.  There is something freeing about being able to put it all away and not feel disconnected.  There has to be a balance between falling off the face of the earth and keeping an online presence without becoming attached or allowing our brains to be saturated by junk on the internet.

So yes, Facebook.  I am sure I want to log out.  Instead of turning off my brain and being distracted by the next notification, the next random google search, snapchat or instagram scroll – I am going to read a book, write about my day or talk to my roommates.  Cook real food, go for a walk, or finish that project that lies unfinished.

Are you sure you want to log out?

Throwback to the most terrifying but exhilarating few days of my life last summer. Did I succeed? IDK. Did I do it anyways? Yeah I peed my pants (or wetsuit) diving into raging waters and holding my breath longer than I ever thought I could.

But I did it.

Success is a word that is thrown around too much.

What does success even mean? Successful at what?

What your definition of success may be completely different than my definition of success but the image I usually get in my mind for ‘success’ is being someone else’s boss in a beautiful sky rise office with big floor to ceiling windows (it’s sunny everyday of course) and someone who brings me a crafted press from Caribou every morning. Kind of like the characters in the Proposal.  lol.

So naturally, anything that doesn’t look like that means you aren’t successful, right? WRONG.

It is so easy to compare what you have accomplished to the plush lives of ‘successful business people’.  Granted thats not even what I want to do with my life at all, but there is something so enticing about that life, IDK maybe its the sun pouring in through big windows and the person who brings the coffee.

The most important question to ask yourself is, what will my life look like if I put forth my best self and my best work? What if I followed my curiosity and turned them into passions that I love to play with everyday? So basically, what is your definition of success?

Mine, I am still figuring out.  I think I will always have the underlying feeling that money = success, or a steady job = success or having a boyfriend = success.  Which are not all wrong, but if that is all you are defining success with, what happens when you have all the money in the world, the best job and a husband? Will you still be reaching for more of the same thing?

Success I think for me, is being ok with failure. Such a paradox, I know. But how can I ever learn about myself and the world if I don’t have some mishaps along the way?

A famous question that pops up among ‘inspirational quotes’ on google says, “What would you do if you knew that you could not fail?” Basically, how would your life look differently if you were driven by passion and curiosity than fear?

On the other hand, what would you do if you knew you would fail?

Would you still go after it? Can your life still be driven by passion and curiosity? I think YES! Fear is a thing and it has a place in the world, but life halting fear of failing? That has no place in our lives.  Doing what we love in spite of that little fear voice is how we become strong in ourselves and become ok with failure, because we are doing something that is worth it, that our love and passion for is greater than our fear of failure.

Alright, I’ll step down off the box I have been talking from and let you think.

What is your definition of success? Will you let the fear of failure hold you back?

Here are some thoughts lately about having this degree in nutrition and deciding not to become a dietitian.

It can be hard to explain my reasoning when I myself am still sort of figuring out why it just doesn’t feel right.  I certainly love food and I enjoy being healthy – whatever your definition of healthy is.  BUT I think that America is in this phase of food obsession called nutritionism.  It is this idea that single nutrients are more important than the sum of parts that make up a food.  Read Michael Pollan for more info [In Defense of Food].

The obsession with the mediterranean diet for example – not to say its a bad diet – but there is this fad of trying to figure out what it is that the mediterraneans eat to be so much healthier than we are.  Is it the Omega-3? Vitamins? Fiber? What are they doing that we don’t know about?! (hint, maybe its the sum of all the parts including their lifestyle)

The obsessive search for the perfect nutrient is a) time consuming b) doesn’t portray the actual food products and c) takes the focus off of why certain foods are paired together just because they taste good and not for maximal nutrition content. Take the Italians who eat tomatoes and olive oil together because the oil brings out the flavor of the tomato, not because the omega-3’s enhance the lycopene absorption from tomatoes.  That just happens to be a happy outcome of pairing two yummy foods together to make a yummier dish.

I want people to be healthy and stuff but I don’t know if I can support a system that is so regimented and stiff and guilt inducing, at least in my experience.  I know dietitians are so important for many other reasons.

This person should have this many calories and this many things of vitamins and fat and whatever. I get the importance of balance, but maybe my views are just a bit looser. And I am perfectly ok with that for my own lifestyle. I have more fun and can enjoy the occasional donut just because I feel like it.  Or I can enjoy the occasional fruit smoothie because I feel like it and it makes me feel good.

Balance.  Donuts and smoothies, breakfast of champions anyone?

I think I am more concerned and passionate about feeding people that literally need the basics.  Not to be tied up with the trends of vegan diets or organic versus non organic or the supercool foods of today’s foodie world.  I totally like to splurge on the occasional kombucha or chia seeds or some other food trend, but do I really need that stuff? No.

How can I best live my life to portray my food beliefs? I believe that nobody deserves to be hungry. Or that nobody should be sick because they are nutrient deficient.  I am passionate about figuring out how to make those things a reality.  About feeding people who really need it.  Which is what I hope to learn more about by going back to school – how can I make that passion a part of my professional life?

So next time you read an article about nutrients or go to buy those multivitamins, remember how lucky you are, and be grateful for having the luxury of worrying about getting enough calcium or omega-3, when the world is full of people worrying about their next meal.

What is the definition of productivity?  Obviously productivity means getting everything done before it needs to be done so then you can get more things done in the extra time that you have.

If you aren’t using your time wisely that means you have free time and you should probably fill it with something to be more productive.  

How has that logic actually seeped into our brains? Having free time is bad?

“Well yeah, I could be making money, or exercising, or baking cookies or getting sh*t done.”

haskldjfbaliseuhrawiuefnawlkejfbasljkfb. NO.

One thing I’ve learned from living in other countries is that time is precious. Not in the way of OMYGOSH if I don’t finish this now I won’t be able to move onto the next thing so I can do this other thing.

But in the way of allowing yourself to be ok with time slipping away.  The Italians take a few hours for a nice dinner.  They start with an aperitif – a drink and some snacks, then move onto a first course of pasta or risotto and a second course of some sort of meat usually. Then they might have a cheese and fruit plate and/or a dessert like a cake or gelato. They finish with a drink at the end, literally called a digestivo for digestion, AND might even finish that with an espresso after that.

For most people, this is considered absurd in our 60 hour workweeks.  NO TIME FOR FOOD. (Which is something I am very passionate about and will talk about later). Why is that? Where did this notion of always being busy become a way of life?

I wonder if we do things simply to be busy. I do it. Sign myself up for more volunteer shifts or work shifts or dates with friends. And then I complain that I don’t have enough time or I am too tired. This way of thinking is so backwards and I wonder how we can turn it around for healthier bodies, minds and lives?

Time is precious because what we do with our time does matter. If you are working, do you enjoy it? If you are with friends or family, is it meaningful and purposeful and fun? If you are alone, are you doing something that will feed your soul?  Are you driven by guilt or joy?

Having free time means we get to develop hobbies, find what brings us joy and do something just because we like it and not because it serves another purpose.  I love mornings so I wake up an hour before I need to be awake to enjoy my favorite part of the day just a little bit longer. I don’t do anything super exciting or strenuous, but it feeds my soul to be up in the quiet so I can think or just be. Is it productive? YES.

How will you spend your free time this week? If you don’t have any, why not? GET SOME. Feed your soul with some unproductive productivity.

The power of saying no can change your life.

These are the questions of life that I frequently ponder. Why are storms these amazingly cozy and curled up bouts of weather that just make you want to sit outside with a steamy cup of a chai latte and let the rain sink into you?

I love Mn summers. I loved my Wisconsin summer and my Virginia summer but Wisconsin was a little too cold and Virginia a little too hot. Minnesota, dear Minnesota, gives a flighty combination of both excruciatingly hot days and days where you need a sweater or five.  But in between those days, we get pleasant sunny days with a high of 75.  ILY MN.

Minnesota summer storms on the other hand are just about one of the most lovely gifts this state gives to us (along with 10,000 + lakes). I think I fell in love with rain when I fell in love with Ireland a few years ago. Why grumble about rain when it gives you a really good reason to snack on coconut milk ice cream w/ pb and watch friends [Not that you need a reason to do that any day of the week].

A thing I have learned in the past year ish is that most of what happens in your day is out of your control. The people you encounter, the traffic (urrgh), the weather, the cute guy in Cub foods… But the good news is, we CAN control ourselves and our reactions.

If you’ve seen it, the movie About Time, gives a good idea of how I want to live my life. Despite how the world acts and reacts around me, I want to be the person that makes the stressed out cashier’s life a little brighter, the person that talks to the homeless man on the corner, the person that loves to wake up just for the sake of it being morning. To enjoy each moment the first time, because well, it won’t come again. Unless you are a time traveler.

So I’ll leave you with this:

“We must risk delight. We can do without pleasure, but not delight. Not enjoyment. We must have the stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless furnace of this world.” – Jack Gilbert

Risk being the happy person on the bus today, the one still smiling after sitting in traffic, the one that enjoys the mundane beautiful tasks of doing laundry or going grocery shopping simply because you get to.  Its easier said than done, I know. I struggle on the reg.

BUT happy is sometimes infectious and if you are happy then the people around you will be happier which has the potential to make the world around you a happier place.

What will you delight in today?

The inspiration for this post (or really, to start blogging again), is from a book called Big Magic and my beautiful, magical porch in my new house.  S/O to Elizabeth Gilbert for the inspo and to MN summer nights for being perfect. This is what I have learned from this book so far:

Living creatively means being motivated by curiosity rather than fear.

Living creatively doesn’t have to be for anyone but me.  I can write because I enjoy it and that’s that. If someone else likes my art along the way, bonus!

I do not need anyones permission to be creative. I can define what creativity means to me and I don’t need to wait for someone else to give me the green light.

I can define myself and my creative pursuits instead of wishing they were true.  I am a writer, I am a photographer, I am a cook, I am healthy, or a painter, dancer, wood worker or whatever you are or want to create.  When I say those words out loud or even on paper, they begin to take shape and I become what I say I am.

My creative pursuits do not have to be motivated by money.  They are and can be motivated purely by the soul filling, magical, cookie dough finger licking satisfaction that comes from taking what is in my head and making sense of the world around me with words.

So there.  Here I am trying to do this thing called life and figure out – what is it exactly that I want to do again?  Maybe I don’t need to have an answer.  Maybe I can just do what feels right, go where the flow of ideas takes me, and make enough money to get by.  And along the way, find what makes me feel most alive and full and then do as much of that as possible.

Do you have the courage to live creatively?